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Wednesday, January 6


A little corner of Love

Few days ago, one of my best friends called me. We did a loonngggg chit chat because we haven’t contacted each others for months. Minutes later, we began to do girl talk, who dates with who, who got break up, who married who. But when I asked about her boyfriend, she got quite. Great, I think I did mistake here… I ask again, “What happened?”. She cried.. Crap !

Then she started to tell her story. Few months ago, she already broke up because her boyfriend did affair behind her. Not long time, she found the new one. Unfortunately, this new one is her ex’s friend in office. A little chaos happened. A little fight appeared. Then my friend (let’s call her A) tells her new one (Let’s call him… Z) what she has ‘done’ with her ex. Like what she guessed, Z was angry so bad and decided to separate. Dunno what happened, but they still contact each other. My friend, A, never ask about Z’s true feeling. They go together, watch movies together, but Z never say that he wants to be with A again. Then I ask.. 
Me         : Have you ever ask him if he wants to be with you again?
A             : I have
Me         : The answer ?
A             : He said “I don’t know.. maybe later”. I can’t ask him again. It’s me who did the wrong thing.
Me         : What have you done? You didn’t have any idea that your ex will have another girl right?
A             : Yeah.. I know.. but I don’t want to make Z hate me because asking about our relationship
Me          : How long is that ‘later’ ?
A             : I don’t know ! I don’t dare to ask him more… It’s me.. got it? It’s me who acted like a jerk…
Me         : Do you see yourself as a ‘trash’ ?
A             : In this case… maybe….
Me         : Are you a ‘trash’ ?
A             : Of course not  ! (then she quite)
Maybe.. I shouldn’t see myself like a ‘trash’ right? … Do you think that Z is a still a ‘boy’ ? Who still can’t see me and approved me as who I am? (she begin to cry..)
Me         : Maybe…  Hmmm…. Does Z still care about you?
A             : I think so.. Sometimes if he’s not busy, he ask me to hang out together, dinner… and.. sometimes grab my hand and ask me to sit near him…
Me         : But he always answer “I don’t know” ? Does he only looking for you when he’s getting bored?
A             : Yes…. And.. yes..
Me          : Do you really love Z ?
A             : Yes !
Me          : Do you want to marry him? And live with him forever?
A             : Yes, of course  !
Me         : Why ?
A             : It’s like…. I see everything I want from a guy on him !
Me          : Really?
A             : Yeaa…. Not all. He’s not good in making decision.. including his feeling itself..
Me           : Can you live forever with  a guy like that? OR.. A ‘boy’ ? (A laugh..)
A             : I don’t think so…
Me           : Then why do you want to marry him?
A             : Because he’s the best for me ! I don’t think I can’t found any other guy like him…
Me          : Are you sure? (quite)
IF.. after you marry him, he still bad in making any decision.. even for his own feeling, will you leave him?
A             : How can I leave him? Divorce? Impossible ! It’s a shame to make any divorce (Yes, it’s true.. some people in Indonesia still look divorce as a shame)
Me           : If it’s POSSIBLE, will you LEAVE him?
A             : ……………. I can’t live with a man who can’t make decision…
Me         : Then why you marry with that man if you know you can’t live with a man like that for forever?
She began to cry and ask me over and over what she has to do. I said,

“Marrying is a LIFE commitment not just a game. You can’t do “Undo” or press ‘ctrl+u’ or “ctrl+z’. You marry with that man, you ‘marry’ with the whole family… forever.."

She said it’s too hard for now to think like that. Her heart’s still trembling. She said that she really loves Z, but she can’t stand if Z doesn’t change his that-bad character of him. Then I said..

“Think carefully. See yourself years after this. Can you live with a man like that? For everyday? The decision is yours…”

Isn’t life confusing sometime? She Loves But She Hates in the same time. I haven’t married yet, but I’ve seen so many people got divorce because they married someone only for ‘love’ sake. Love makes them blind. Love makes them forget what is “marry” mean. Love makes them forget that ‘marrying’ is a Life commitment, a contract that has no period. We read many divorcing in news, especially celebrities.

If that what adults think about marrying, maybe we should learn from kids who still see marrying as a precious treasure that will live forever


Aulawi Ahmad said...

everything in this live have risk, so do it if u trust but live it if made u suffer :)

ASWANI said...

Excellent post..Ame. One of the best posts in my opinion. Yes, marriage is not a joke. Infact, it is a lifelong commitment. We all need to understand it fully before taking any decision. I can see the same thing happening today. People are getting married after being in love which often leads to all sorts of problems. We need to be more sensible with such issues.

lunaticg said...

Hi Amelia...
When it is over you need to make sure you continue your life without him. Make a new friend in a real life. Enjoy yourself.
the more you're alone, the more you will suffer.
Nice post by the way.
See you around.

Anonymous said...

What a post,
really deep ending from your words.
i can't say anything about it since i also disappointed my love, before.
love is indeed an emotional thing that i believe a human doesn't have it for eternally.
hard, but it's life.
well but i guess i'm allowed to say
"young one, love and forgive, but take a decision wisely" (IMHO)

wedding said...

For two individuals are still in the process of courtship, sometimes bad things in the lid so that he does not know, but if ever thought that one day the actual characters can arise when already living together.

fazrul arhan said...

Life is colorful..even the sad thing's in our life will bring a color to our life..so enjoy : )

You have a nice site..i love your blog!

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Amelia said...

@Aulawi : I agree with you :)
@Aswani : True ! most people now get married in a rush without think carefully
@lunaticq : it's not me :) It's my friend. Yes, we can't be alone but marrying is something that we should really careful about..
@foodphilo : Yes, usually the young one think, "that's okay, I can change him/her later after marriage". In fact, it's more difficult to change someone after marry him/her
@wedding : That's what I'm thinking about.. "Go ahead if you can live with it, but leave it when you can't"
@fazrul : Thanks :) I like your blog too
@deja vu : don't spam ! I'll delete your comment.. sorry.. I don't like spam..

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